Story by Joe Pisani

You never know what you’ll find when you sort through the belongings of someone you love who’s died. There are all sorts of curious and strange discoveries, some that console and others that startle, and still others that disappoint. 

It’s like walking through a doorway that takes you to a place you’ve never visited before, resurrecting memories that cause laughter and, of course, tears.

It was that way with my father, who died on Christmas Eve 20 years ago. He was a recovering alcoholic, who lived the last 25 years of his life sober. But we won’t talk about the first 50. 

I knew sobriety had made him a new man, but I never realized exactly how much he’d changed until I was going through his room in the weeks after his passing. Some things struck me as odd — like the collection of brand new socks in the bottom drawer of his dresser. There were dozens of pairs of socks still in their packaging. 

I thought he might have been a hoarder because he demonstrated all the characteristics, until one of my cousins reminded me that he and his eight siblings grew up during the Great Depression on the East Side of Bridgeport — with only a widowed mother to care for them — so  they didn’t have socks and had to line their shoes with newspaper. 

In later years, those memories prompted him to buy more socks than he could ever wear in one lifetime because he was determined never to go barefoot again.

My exploration led to other curiosities, including a little shrine on his bureau that had a statue of the Blessed Mother and a crucifix, along with a votive candle that was perpetually burning, to the chagrin of my mother because the flickering flame produced a smoke stain on the ceiling. This shrine defined his new life of sobriety, and my father didn’t care at all about the stain.

To appreciate his spiritual transformation, let me share a painful memory of him during the dark days: He would sit in his Barcalounger, watching war movies, while holding a water glass of Canadian Club whiskey in one hand and a 16-ounce can of Budweiser in the other.

But 12 Step programs like Alcoholics Anonymous work miracles. To the day he died, he credited his Higher Power, whom he chose to call God, and the men and women of AA with his sobriety. He’d often say that the program didn’t open the gates of heaven to let him in, but it definitely opened the gates of hell to let him out.

In his last 25 years, the Budweiser and Canadian Club disappeared. In one hand, he held a cup of black coffee and in the other, his prayer book. He took his sobriety seriously, and he knew that meant he had to be serious about his spiritual progress. However, I never realized how serious until the day I was cleaning out his room.

There, beside the votive candle, was a small black book filled with names. When I looked closer, I realized it contained the names of men and women who had passed away. Some of them died from the disease of alcoholism, others had been given the gift of sobriety. There were also dozens of family members and friends from the East Side, along with people I never knew, but who had crossed his path in life … so he prayed for them all every day.

Nestled inside the book was a collection of remembrance cards held together with an elastic band. The cards memorialized the deceased, and he got them at their wakes and funerals. He treasured them and he regularly prayed for those people in the hopeful assurance they would make it to that place we’re all destined to reach when this life ends — that place where there’s no suffering, no addiction and only love, peace and perpetual joy.

I took the prayer cards home and added them to my own collection. Every so often, I take them out, and one by one I’ll pray for the souls of the faithful departed. I’m convinced that when we pray for them, we can be assured they’re also praying for us.  

Story by Joe Pisani

With the Connecticut Legislature getting underway for the new session next week, Chris Healy, executive director of the Connecticut Catholic Public Affairs Conference, is preparing for several challenges that include protecting the sanctity of life, the right to freely practice religious faith amid growing antisemitism, school choice options and social justice issues.

The session officially starts this Jan. 8 and ends June 4. In the coming weeks, the Conference is anticipating some lawmakers may submit bills that threaten the Catholic faith. 

“We must prepare for proposals that further abortion practices, that legalize assisted suicide, further harass pregnancy care centers and assault the religious directives Catholic hospitals operate under,” Healy says. “The proponents of these initiatives are supported by national organizations that are not reflective of Connecticut voters.”

The Conference is the public policy and advocacy office of the Catholic bishops in Connecticut which supports or opposes legislation. Its mission is to work with elected officials at the state and federal levels to influence public policy and stand with other faith groups to promote and ensure a better life for all. 

At the top of the Conference’s agenda is the issue of biological males participating in girls’ sports and laws regarding transgender surgeries of children.

The Conference advocates Title IX protection of young women the right “to participate in the same scholastic sports as males by prohibiting discrimination based on sex in education programs and activities,” Healy says. 

In recent years, the definition was expanded to include transgender males. “This created an unfair reality that bolstered men competing in women’s sports at all competitive levels with the full protection of the federal government,” he says.

Another issue of concern, he adds, is school choice which would give parents “the freedom to guide their children’s future while allowing public funds to follow the child.”

“We will be trying to get something on the books in Connecticut that will allow for people to support school choice financially and get some kind of tax benefit, which will allow more kids to go not only to Catholic schools, but any other school that fits their needs,” Healy says. “We need to help them pursue their dreams, especially if they’re in a failing school district or they’re restricted by their zip code from getting a decent education.”

Religious freedom, which is guaranteed under the Constitution, has faced growing challenges in recent months with acts of antisemitism on college campuses and in the public arena, the executive director says, adding the Conference will work to bring greater public awareness to the problem.

The beginning of a legislative session usually brings a new Connecticut General Assembly based on changes of elected legislators in the 2024 election, Healy says. “There’s always the unknown, but we know what we have to do. We have to get Catholics and others who share our views engaged so their voices are heard. If we organize and do that and follow God’s blessing, we’ll be fine.”

In the past, the Conference has partnered with other faith groups to support issues of faith.  

“They share our values on these issues and they appreciate the fact that the Catholic Church has asked them for their help and that we help them as well when we can,” Healy says. “They helped us  in opposing assisted suicide, and hopefully we can do that again this year on other issues.”

Healy urges people to get involved with their local elected state legislators to oppose any proposals that come before the Legislature that threaten Catholic teachings. For more information about the Connecticut Catholic Public Affairs Conference, visit ctcatholicpac.org.