Story by Joe Pisani
I’ve decided to try a new approach this Lent. It will be a lot harder than giving up sweets but now quite as hard as giving up cigarettes. Fortunately, those days are long gone because I gave them up for good a long time ago.
As I was leafing through my book of prayers, I stumbled upon one I desperately need. Well, maybe I didn’t stumble upon it at all. Maybe the Holy Spirit led me there, just in time for Lent. It was titled, “A Prayer to Overcome a Dislike of Someone.” That’s certainly something we could all use after 2020.
When I saw it, my first thought was “Where the heck do I begin?” I quickly realized I’ll need more than 40 days to make this work, but it has all the fundamental ingredients of the Lenten season — sacrifice, humility and charity. Maybe I can even add an almsgiving component. (Well, maybe not.)
In short order, I developed a list of everyone I want to pray for, although I’m ashamed to admit the list has gotten longer since the election.
I decided to start close to home with my neighbors who curb their dogs near my mailbox and a few others who blow their leaves and grass clippings into the street.
Then, there are the people who know I’m Catholic and are always clamoring about “reproductive rights” because they know I’m opposed to abortion.
And I can’t forget that woman I see in the supermarket who has a perpetual scowl on her face every time I meet her and who never says, “Hello” or “How are you?” In her defense, she occasionally grunts.
I should also mention my friend — although I’m beginning to wonder if he really is — who constantly sends me stories about the Church’s sex abuse crisis, which I’m increasingly convinced he does because he dislikes Catholics…except for Joe Biden.
I should confess there are a few, maybe more than a few, family members on my list, including the ones who only call when they need something … and when they get what they need, they promptly go off the radar without so much as a “thank you.”
I keep vowing not to answer the phone when their names show up on caller ID, but a voice in the back of my head insists, “Jesus says this is what you’re supposed to do.” So I do it. After all, Jesus said to forgive “70 times 7,” but it can get pretty annoying when you reach 69 times 7.
Lent is a long time, which makes me think giving up sweets might be easier, and it would help me lose a few pounds. But I have to stick with the plan because I have the nagging feeling this is what I’m meant to do.
Someone once told me — someone who’s more tolerant of dislikable people than I am — that you should never judge a disagreeable person because you don’t know what they’re going through. She said you never know what crosses they’re carrying. Some may be ill, some may be suffering from addiction, some may have a family crisis, some may have been raised in an abusive home. She said we all carry a lot of self-destructive baggage. She also told me to find it in my heart to be kind even if that kindness isn’t returned.
So I’m asking the Holy Spirit to direct me this Lent. I’ll offer up any insults or indignities to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary in exchange for graces for the people I dislike, people who can be nasty, unkind, self-centered, self-righteous and petulant.
Many years ago, I discovered that when you ask Jesus to let you see another person the way he does — through the lens of his love, acceptance and tolerance — you’ll have an entirely different perception. I just hope everyone can look at me the same way.
A Prayer to Overcome a Dislike of Someone
“Lord, I am aware that what I feel is unchristian of me since your love for everyone created in your image is endless, and I, in my blindness, am unable to see You in them or the goodness in him/her that you do. Help me to love others as You do, especially this person that I will learn to forgive. Help me to see You in them. Amen.”