Story by Joe Pisani
Have you ever messed up? I mean REALLY messed up, so badly you thought it was all over. You were convinced your parents, your boss, your family, the powers that be, and just about everybody else would push you overboard for what you did.
OK, maybe I’m overstating the case, but you get the idea.
Sometimes we do things that we immediately realize are going to get us in trouble. Things we didn’t mean to do and, yes, things we meant to do but later regretted because they hurt people, including the people we’re supposed to love and protect.
Those occasions come with a price. You smashed the car. You ran a red light and hit someone else. You cheated. There are so many ways to cheat — on a test, in a relationship, on your resume, on your application. You blew up and said things you didn’t mean to say to (pick one) your spouse, your kids, your parents, your friends, your coworkers, your boss. You stole. You lied. There are Ten Commandments and countless opportunities to sin.
But just when you thought the world would come crashing down around you, when you thought you’d be condemned like Hester Prynne in The Scarlet Letter, or the woman caught in adultery who was dragged before Jesus … something entirely unexpected happens.
You hear someone say, “It will be OK.”
My friend Paul tells the story about the time as a young boy he threw a rock through the window of a passing car. You can imagine the outcome. Or can you?
He was sure the world would come crashing down around him with all sorts of terrifying possibilities: They would send him to juvey, he’d be grounded until his 18th birthday, his father would be breathing fire.
This is how he recalled that fateful day:
“I was pretending to be a baseball player and throwing rocks, not a smart thing to do. I was trying to throw them across the street and onto the field to my imaginary catcher. I didn’t quite make it with one toss, and the rock struck the window of a passing car, shattering it. Who knew a 4-year-old could throw so hard?”
The driver slammed on the brakes and was very upset. Paul’s father came and calmed him down and then took the boy home.
“When we got home, I braced myself for the punishment,” he said. “To my amazement, my dad put his arm around me and said, ‘I know you didn’t do it on purpose. It was an accident, but you shouldn’t be throwing rocks near the street. Don’t do it again.’”
The expected didn’t happen. The unexpected did because compassion and forgiveness are often unexpected. That event taught him a lesson he never forgot … about forgiveness.
I wish I could say I had the same experience, but my parents were more like those Puritans in The Scarlet Letter. I was usually guilty until proven innocent, and even after I was proven innocent, I was still guilty.
As a result, the idea of mercy never really computed with me. You have to be shown mercy to understand it, and for many years, I figured God reacted the same way my parents (and probably their parents) did.
How unexpected to hear, “Your sins are forgiven you” because that’s contrary to what most of us have experienced in life. Once you experience the mercy and compassion of Christ, you realize we’re meant to respond the same way.
In Pope Francis’ book, A Good Life:15 Essential Habits for Living with Hope and Joy, he says: “Jesus forgives not with a decree but with a caress. Jesus goes beyond the law and forgives by tending to the wounds of our sins. How many of us deserve to be punished! And it would be just. But He forgives! …He does not humiliate the adulterous woman. He does not say to her: What did you do? When did you do it? How did you do it? And with whom? He tells her to go forth and sin no more. God’s mercy is great; He forgives with tenderness.”
It’s worth praying that we’re given the grace to do the same. As St. Paul said to the Ephesians: “Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ.”