Story by Joe Pisani

I say a lot of different prayers, from the rosary to the Chaplet of Divine Mercy and the Chaplet of the Blessed Sacrament, from devotions to my favorite saints, including St. Joseph, St. Josephine Bakhita, St. Jose Sanchez del Rio, St. Margaret of Castello, and of course Our Lady of Sorrows, along with prayers to the Sacred Heart and the Immaculate Heart of Mary … you get the idea.

Of these many diverse prayers, devotions and litanies, there’s one I try to avoid because it scares me. Whenever I pray it, I think, “I can’t do this. There’s no way I can do this. I’m never going to become a saint if I have to do this.”

It discourages me because I realize that I have a tremendously long way to go. And if we have to enter through the narrow gate, I’m not getting through.

The prayer is the Litany of Humility, and although there are several versions, the modern one is often attributed to Cardinal Rafael Merry del Val, who was the Cardinal Secretary of State of the Holy See under Pope Pius X. The cardinal prayed it every day following Mass.

This Litany of Humility demands a lot. The first line says: “From the desire of being esteemed, deliver me Jesus.” And it gets harder from there.

“From the desire of being loved, from the desire of being extolled, from the desire of being honored, from the desire of being praised, from the desire of being preferred to others, from the desire of being consulted, from the desire of being approved, from the fear of being humiliated, from the fear of being despised, suffering rebukes, being calumniated, being forgotten, being ridiculed, being wronged, being suspected, deliver me, Jesus!”

I don’t know about you, but I live for those things. Who doesn’t want to be esteemed, loved, extolled, honored, praised, preferred, consulted and approved? In modern America, we place honor, prestige, popularity and power above everything.

Our society is fiercely anti-humility. Millions of young people worship celebrities and follow their example by taking selfie photos and videos and posting them on social media platforms like Instagram and TikTok.

Who can be humble when we’re competing with the rest of the world for recognition? In a culture like that, spiritual growth takes a backseat to self-promotion, but spiritual growth is forever, and mini-fame is fleeting and meaningless.

If you think happiness and fulfillment lie in self-aggrandizement, take a lesson from the Sisters of Mercy, who were fond of telling their students the recipe for J.O.Y. is Jesus first, then others, lastly you.

While the first part of the Litany of Humility is daunting, the second part offers even more challenges. For example: “That others may be loved more than I, that others may be esteemed more than I, that others may be praised and I unnoticed, etc., Jesus grant me the grace to desire it.”

The Discalced Carmelite Father Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalen put his finger on the problem when he wrote: “Many souls would like to be humble, but few desire humiliation; many ask God to make them humble and fervently pray for this, but very few want to be humiliated. Yet it is impossible to gain humility without humiliations; for just as studying is the way to acquire knowledge, so it is by the way of humiliation that we attain humility.” That thought should make your day.

Our Lord knew both humility and humiliation. Remember on Holy Thursday, how he washed the apostles’ feet?

He also said, “Whoever exalts himself will be humbled; but whoever humbles himself will be exalted.Whoever is the greatest should be the servant of the others. If you put yourself above others, you will be put down. But if you humble yourself, you will be honored.”

St. Paul summed up the Savior’s earthly ministry when he said, “he emptied himself,

taking the form of a slave, coming in human likeness; and found human in appearance, he humbled himself, becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross.”

Throughout the Bible, you’ll read that the foundation of holiness is humility.

Proverbs 11:2 says: “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” And St. James said: “God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

Humility seems to invite gifts from God, while religious pride is a barrier.

St. Bernard of Clairvaux, when asked what the three most important aspects of spiritual life were, replied, “humility, humility, humility.”

I’m never quite sure whether I’m humble or proud. It seems to depend on the day of the week. Sometimes I feel naturally humble, which is easy when you grew up in an alcoholic home where your ego was never boosted but you were regularly put down. But the ego is a persistent master. As an antidote, I often say the affirmation, “Jesus meek and humble of heart, make my heart like your heart.”

Whenever I pray the Litany of Humility, Jesus always seems to plant me in a situation where I’m put to the test while the prayer is still fresh in my mind. Suddenly someone insults me and I realize I should hold my tongue … but can’t. Someone says I did a great job and even though I should simply say, “Thank you,” I want them to keep heaping on the praise.

In the end, humility is a gift, something we can’t achieve on our own, so we have to ask for it, and that is precisely what the litany does. But do I really want other people to be preferred to me? Do I really want to be humiliated? Do I really want everyone else to get the love, the praise, the glory, and me not even the scraps? You’ve heard the saying, “Be careful what you pray for because you might just get it.”

But in the end, that’s the path that leads us to Jesus. Although most of us wish we could find an easier, softer way, there is none. So give it a try … if you dare:

Lord Jesus, meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being loved, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being extolled, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being honored, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being praised, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being preferred to others, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being consulted, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being approved, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being humiliated, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being despised, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of suffering rebukes, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being calumniated, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being forgotten, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being ridiculed, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being wronged, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being suspected, Deliver me, Jesus.
That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be chosen and I set aside, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be praised and I unnoticed, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be preferred to me in everything, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.