Story by Joe Pisani
Over the past year, I’ve met a fair number of “nonagenarians,” who are more commonly known as people in their 90s. Where do I meet them? Usually at church because, I’ve discovered, their day centers on morning Mass. It’s right at the top of their To Do lists, followed by the usual chores and activities, such as doctors’ appointments, grocery shopping, lunch at the senior center, and the library.
They have busy schedules. Ann, who is 97, still teaches exercise classes twice a week. Warren, who turned 100 last August, still plays golf. Val, Joe and Jim go for coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts to discuss the problems of the world and just about anything else that comes to mind.
But they all begin their day with Christ. When you reach that age, it’s important to have your priorities straight. They’re following the same advice that actor Denzel Washington gave the graduating class of Dillard University several years ago, when he told them: “Put God first. Put God first in everything you do.”
It’s an invaluable lesson in a secular culture, especially when you’re starting out in your career … or collecting Social Security.
Just so you don’t think I’m discriminating in favor of 90-something year olds, I should add that I know a couple of centenarians, a fair number of octogenarians and even more septuagenarians, most of whom are moving forward in their senior years one day at a time with hope in their hearts, even though they have their share of infirmity and loss.
Hope doesn’t come easily when you reach your senior years. Your health starts to fail, you can lose your sense of purpose, and more tragically, you can lose the people you love.
I also know a good number of seniors who were married more than 50 years when their spouses died, and they had a difficult time navigating the future. Grieving is a difficult process for anyone, but especially for older people because they have fewer years ahead of them than behind them and often find themselves wondering, “What’s there to look forward to?”
When they start to lose family members and friends, the days ahead can seem like a pathway to even more loss and loneliness. Theirs is a special kind of loneliness because not only have their loved ones died, but they often struggle to believe life is still worth living. When that happens, it’s especially important to have a strong relationship with Jesus and to always remember his friendship is true and lasts forever.
In old age, looking for purpose can be difficult. Pope Francis has often said the elderly offer us lessons that no one else can. Old age gives us wisdom and the opportunity to help young people confront the challenges of life — and needless to say, life presents challenges.
If you need advice, where would you turn first? To someone starting out or to someone who’s experienced all the ups and downs, who’s failed from time to time, but who picked themselves up, took a deep breath, dusted themselves off and started all over again, to quote the popular song.
Pope Benedict XVI, who was no stranger to suffering in his life, died at 95. He witnessed firsthand the ravages of modern history, living in Germany during Nazism and seeing the rise of Communism. He was a prolific author and critic of modern society, who clearly understood the strengths of the elderly and the important role they play. During a visit to a home for the elderly in Rome, he once told the residents:
“Dear elderly brothers and sisters, though the days sometimes seem long and empty, with difficulties, few engagements, and few meetings, never feel down at heart: You are a wealth for society, even in suffering and sickness. And this phase of life is also a gift for deepening your relationship with God. Do not forget that one of the valuable resources you possess is the essential one of prayer, so become interceders with God, praying with faith and with constancy. Pray for the Church and pray for me, for the needs of the world, for the poor, so that there may be no more violence in the world. The prayers of the elderly can protect the world, helping it, perhaps more effectively than collective anxiety.
“If this is all we can do in our old age, it should be enough. No matter how much time we have ahead of us, we should use it to lead others to a deeper, more prayerful relationship with God. This is perhaps the greatest gift we can give.”
It is the greatest gift. And it’s a great secret. Never doubt that the elderly can save the world with their wisdom and their prayers.